Monday, February 24, 2014

Little Man Of My Dreams

I've been imagining him since April.

"How big is he?" I'd wonder.

What does his voice sound like? Will he fit well in our family? He's 14 years old…how will he handle change? Will he attach? Will he and Samantha like each other?

I don't have answers to all of my questions yet, but I am very happy to report that I have peace in my heart and a strong confidence that he belongs with us.

He fits.

He fits in my arms, and he most definitely fits in my heart. As I've been hoping and praying for, there is room for him. There is love enough for he and Sam and I can see now how we all fit together.

Little man of my dreams is now real. Living, breathing, precious, perfect little man.

Truly, he is perfect.

These pictures were taken just minutes after first meeting.

He came in walking, holding on to just one hand. He came to me without hesitation, hugged me with his arms and legs (smile) and held on tight. His sweet little head laid down gently on my shoulder, and we rocked. Perfectly content. A gentle spirit.

Can you believe this tiny little guys is 14 years old? I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around that.

I had been told prior to our visit that he loves music and dancing, and that has proven true. I brought along a stuffed animal that sings and lights up and he loves it, leaning in close to listen, sitting contentedly in my lap for song after song after song.

And oh does he crave touch and affection. He let me cradle him like a baby, and laid still in my arms, relaxed, soaking it all in.

So far his vocabulary includes "day day day", "mamamama", "babababa", and "guhguhguh". I am impressed!

One of his nannies showed me how when she says "Where's Tony?", he hits his chest. He also found his ear and neck on command. So smart!

I kissed him on the cheek and he thought that was pretty much the best thing ever, so he occasionally would offer his cheek to me as if to say, "Feel free to do that again, Mom!" So, of course I did.

His breath is…bad. And his teeth are rotten. The dentist will most definitely need to be one of our first stops after coming home. He also has a sore on his forehead from hitting himself. I imagine he does that for stimulation as well as when he's anxious or frustrated.

But overall, for all he's been through, I'd say this kid is remarkably strong, brave, well adjusted, even happy. Only time will tell how he will adapt to being in a family, but my gut is telling me he will do quite well. He is longing desperately to be loved, and once he realizes that he truly belongs with us, I suspect he will flourish.

Thank you all so very much for your prayers. Keep praying! Please pray for the continued success of my visits with Tony (I'll be going back for visit number two in a couple of hours) and for Samantha. She's is doing well so far and is in great hands, but I miss her and of course worry about her.

God's blessings and lots of love to all of you.


  1. Praying for you, Sam, and Tony. I love your beautiful heart. You are so precious. I live all of these updates on your family. Praying! Love & hugs to you.

  2. Praising God for answered prayers! Tony is one awesome little guy! I heard the song "Pushing Back the Dark" this morning on the radio and it prompted me to pray for you. Can't wait to hear more updates!

  3. this is just precious. Love to you both and prayers xoxoxoxoxo

  4. Do you have to leave him there and come home and go back to get him? I would love to subscribe to your blog, is there somewhere to sign up?

  5. I'm going to answer your question from your photos....yep he looks like you! He is adorable and I just want to squeeze him. You are so blessed you were able to love on him. He is perfect. I am new to your blog but have read through your past post and your children are so lucky to have you. Truly and angel here on Earth. I look forward to following you from now on and cannot wait for you to bring this little man home. He clearly and very obviously belongs with you. He knew you were his mama the minute he saw you. You can't put a price on that.