Without exaggeration, this adoption journey over the last several weeks has taken me through some of the highest highs and lowest lows I've ever experienced. I've witnessed miracles first hand, the likes of which I'd previously only dreamt of seeing. And I've felt a true and deep sadness over the depth of sin in the world, and over arms that will remain yet empty for several months to come.
As hard as it is to step back and get some perspective, I'm choosing to look at myself from the outside in tonight. And what I'm able to see (at least in this moment!) is that this pain; the tears that flow unexpectedly, the heavy heart, the empty arms, the anxious feeling in my gut...its all necessary. It's growing pains. God is preparing me for the biggest, grandest challenge of my life so far. This period of rapid growth, I expect, will leave me leaning more and more heavily on my Heavenly Father. It will make me more and more wise to the devil's schemes. It will increase the love and appreciation I have for my sweet daughter and all that she has suffered and all that she will overcome.
They don't call them growing pains for nothing.
And of course, I must update you all on my progress toward Sam! Please let these bullets also serve as prayer requests. We need to continue to cover every aspect of this journey with prayer!
- After more than a week's worth of glitches, Samantha's dossier is finally COMPLETE! In fact, I mailed it to Iowa last week, to a mother who will be hand delivering it to my attorney this week. Praise the Lord that she, and two other parents have arrived safely in Sam's country and will be meeting their little ones tomorrow for the very first time.
- Please pray that God will mightily use these three parents this week in the orphanage and that they would have the opportunity to visit, pray over, hug, and take pictures of any or all of the 16 children who have families waiting to bring them home. Selfishly, I would love to have some updated pictures of my Sam. And even better than a photo would be the news that one of these parents was able to hold her and tell me how she is doing...or anything about her at all! I so long to to know her...any little tidbit would be a sweet comfort to me during this time of waiting.
- Pray for my heart and my emotional health. God has been incredibly good to me, and I know this. But need His refreshing.
- Pray that I would not lose focus, that I would remain faithful in prayer and in quiet times with the Lord, and that God would give me wisdom in how best to prepare for Samantha's arrival.
Thank you all again, so much, for your prayers.
Stay tuned for an update later this week on a fundraiser, and an opportunity to raise awareness about adoption. There is something in the works!
AND, if you haven't already...I recommend you read this. Be sure to read the whole post. I cannot get enough of this story!
Love to you all.