Thursday, April 26, 2012

If You Ever Needed Proof

If you’ve ever needed proof that God is real.
If you’ve ever hoped to see a miracle.
If you could use to hear a story of redemption. Of good triumphing over evil. 
You need not look any farther than here.

God is real. God is good. He is Love. All this is evidenced in this tiny little girl who the Father has protected and preserved throughout 7 years of horrendous abuse and neglect. And now, she is already teaching me how to loosen up, to love harder than ever, and to live for the things in life that really matter. And what is that, you might ask? Well, for me, it her. And its 163 million children living all around the world without moms and dads. Its JESUS. Its redemption. 

I am ABSOLUTELY in love.

Sam is bringing me closer and closer to the Father’s heart.
Today I was rather dramatically daydreaming of all I would be willing to endure to just GET MY DAUGHTER HOME. I won’t subject you the details of those thoughts, but it did dawn on me that Jesus has already been subjected to all of that and more. To get me home. That’s the kind of love he has for us. 
Today was the MOST AMAZING day with Sam I could have ever asked for. She was calm and soft. She was asking for kisses. We made endless music together and she could not get enough of it. I played the beach ball as a drum. We both sang. She danced. And whenever I stopped, she showed me exactly what she wanted to do! She’d take hold of my thumb with her little hand and pull it over to the ball and help me to hit it once or twice as if it say, “Come on Mom, we’re making music!”
And she was so proud of her shoes today! I don’t think she usually gets to wear shoes. She usually sits on her knees with her feet behind her, out of her sight. But today she kept pulling her right foot out in front, kicking up her heel, wiggling it around, looking at her pretty shoes and then looking at me. So sweet. Wait till she gets home and can wear shoes anytime her little heart desires.
I had a great conversation today with Sam’s baba. To be honest, I hadn’t been too sure about her up until this point. But today, I really felt like we connected, at least enough for her to understand how VERY much this little girl is loved and valued and that I consider it a great blessing that someone would care for her in my absence. I pray this woman’s hugs and kisses will sustain my girl until I can come back for her. 
Tomorrow is the dreaded goodbye. BUT, saying goodbye means we’re one step closer to being together for good. And that’s something to rejoice about.
Pray pray pray for Sam’s freedom day. 
Lots and lots of love to all of you. From Sam and me.

We bought 15 boxes of diapers for the orphanage today!!! Yay!!! It was quite an ordeal. We had to get permission ahead of time, and when we delivered them we had to meet with the interim director and provide LOTS of documentation. Anna had to sight FOUR FORMS.

This is Sam's baba. Mitko is translating a card I wrote to her thanking her for taking care of Sam.


  1. I don't know why I read your blog at work. I always end up crying! Grace- your Sam looks so beautiful in yellow. What a sweet spirit and joy filled smile she has.

    Blessings- Tara Hess

  2. This is my favorite post yet. In the first picture of the two of you together she is making great eye contact with you. She is such a miracle and her smile melts my heart. I also love the picture of you and her baba hugging. I am praying for You and Sam because I know tomorrow will be hard, but I love your positive outlook; it DOES mean she is one step closer to coming home!

  3. i'm so excited to meet her! praying for you my sweet friend! :)

  4. I am crying!!! I LOVE THE PHOTO of her baba kissing you!!! NO PROOF NEEDED but I SURE am being blessed!!!

    TEARS and JOY all at the same are one incredible mommy!!! Hang in there and keep your eyes on JESUS have to leave or you can't get her home!!! LOOK straight ahead and not to the left or the right...straight ahead at the eyes of JESUS...

    Get home...get the next paperwork finished and soon you will be back to take her home forever! God is faithful!!!

    love you Grace...LOVE YOU Sam!!!

    love steph brian sasha ellianna avi and lina (somewhere in that building waiting for me!!!)

  5. Look at those smiles! She is absolutely beautiful, and you both look so happy! What a blessing it is to read these posts and see the pictures of a lovely family. Can't wait to see you soon! Love you!

  6. This will be the hardest part, Grace. You have a wonderful optimism about saying your goodbyes tomorrow. The only way I was able to say goodbye to Anara was because I KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loved her MORE than I did. HE was there the day she was born, that HE was with her the day she was abandoned,that HE was with her in the orphanage, and that HE would love her and protect her until my return. HE will do the same for Sam. God has big plans for you, Samantha, and the children of Pleven. I'll be praying specifically for a very fast court date! You will be covered in prayers in the days and weeks to come.

  7. Grace, I have looked so forward to reading your blog every night this week! Samantha is so blessed to have you and you are so blessed to have her!

    She reminds me so much of our Ana in a lot of the institutionalized behaviors that you describe. I can't wait until Samantha is in your home and Ana is in ours :) :) :)

    I have some questions for you, so I am going to e-mail you. Please don't feel like you have to get right back to me. I know you have a lot on your plate right now :)

  8. Praying for you, my friend, all of you!
    May your Friday be blessed in even bigger ways that your heart can anticipate or understand. And may Sam know your love, and even more, the love of her Father in each moment of each day! My heart is praying and thinking of you, Anna, Sam, and every one of those children in the orphanage each moment. Love and prayers and hugs! :)

  9. Grace, I am so thankful to watch your adoption story in such detail! Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts, stories, & photos; it brings everyone who reads it closer to the heart of the father & encourages me to continue to seek God ! You & Sam are beautiful together! I can't wait to catch the joy of meeting her in person :) I will be praying for the goodbyes you have to say- "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may OVERFLOW with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13 _ April Dudney

  10. Grace I love following yours and Sam's journey I cry during every post they are tears of joy seeing the two of you smiling and to know that soon you will be together for ever!

  11. Yes, adoption does teach you about your own adoption in a brand new way. You will have an all new understanding of God's love for you and that understanding will continue to grow! Sam is beautiful and I'm so happy for you both!!! I love the picture of all the diapers! Praying for that last visit where you go to wait and the reunion when you get her forever!

  12. The transformation is obvious from day one to now!! You can see it in her eyes in the pictures... PLUS - LOVE HER HAIRSTYLE... Much cuter with the hair down and not all wigged out if you ask my silly opinion!!

  13. Love is already working its miracle in Sam. I can hardly wait to see how she blossoms in your home, Grace! Praying for you as you say goodbye to her very soon...